Same Old...

I know this is only for my own sake, but a diary entry just doesn't tempt me right now. Maybe because I've been doing too many notes for my college course, but whatever the reason, I came here. Maybe because I feel anonymous, and nobody I know would ever really look for this. Even though it would be terribly simple to find. Maybe I just like typing. Yeah, that might play a part in this. Anyway..

We left off with an airport meeting. It didn't happen due to my sticky teachers, but however it happened, me and this amazing guy are back together. I moved to his town, I'm going to school. I even have a job I really like. All good things must come to an end.

Someone whom I thought I was really close with seems to resent my being here. And until recently, she didn't want to talk to me about it at all. So what at first seemed an easy to fix, understandable problem has grown and expanded into a giant clusterfuck of what the hell. It doesn't even make that much sense! Sometimes, I hate my gender. This girl plays an important part in everyones lives because she is my boyfriend's brother's girl, and we're pretty much supposed to be sisters. Hell, I thought we were. I guess not, now that things have changed. The way I see it, now that I'm here, and able to see my love, and visit with his parents and bond with his brothers, she isn't getting the center attention. And that bothers her to the point of being incredibly mad. It's so ridiculous that, when her boyfriend told her she was overreacting and didn't side with her, she got incredibly mad at him. So there's this giant circle of misguided anger, and nobody has any idea how to fix it. Probably because she doesn't seem to want to fix it. It really has nothing to do with me, it is her perception of what's been going on, and what she thinks is happening. She's twisting words into what she doesn't want to hear, simply because (I think) she wants to be mad. I've been there before, but that doesn't make it right. Hell, I'm not even supposed to know about this at all, which I think is the saddest part. It makes me wonder how long she's been putting on this good face, and secretly hating me for it. Any times we hung out and had fun, was she pretending? Does she think other things we did together, I did because she was doing it, and I "wanted to one up her"? Even though none of this is my fault, I can't help but be sad, and upset about it.

Tomorrow evening or Monday I'll see her, and all this shit will actually hit the fan. Boy, can I not wait.